Before I crashed my old blog I had a link to a site that had a list of 10-12 ways to support an new family. I've lost the link and the luxury of time for searching, but I am sure someone out there has it.
We've been home two weeks and I have especially appreciated food, short visits (especially ones in which I get to shower), practical household help (dishes, floors, beds changed etc.), helping with doctor visits, and people accepting our "weird" parenting. People have called before visiting to ask what we need: a quart of milk, warm playclothes for cool weather, a prescription picked up -- all these things help a lot. We've also been really grateful that people are following our requests of "no cuddling, no sweets". We are realizing daily how important this is, so if your new family has made explicit requests, honor them - there are reasons.
So, other families who have BTDT, what do you recommend? and who can provide that missing link? (tee hee)