8.09.2010

well, we didn't expect that

See all those posts from last week?  Those were prepared in advance and auto-published.  I certainly was not publishing as I was languishing in the hospital.  In the wee hours of Monday morning I had some dramatic symptoms (too yucky to name) and ended up in ER where I was wheeled in from the car and taken to a room in less than 5 minutes -- that makes one nervous indeed -- "Oh! I'm THAT sick?"

Five days later I am discharged with a scary diagnosis.  Scary in that we don't know what triggered it or how to avoid it in the future.

But what really worries me is the impact of the disappearing Mama on the kids.  When they first came, I disappeared altogether for ten days due to my Dad's accident and stay at an out-of-town trauma center, and then I was gone/useless last summer due to the big surgery and now I am useless again.  How can I present the "I'm here for you!" Mama that they need when I am so often ill?

Last week they were well-cared for by my siblings and parents.  This week Chickadee is at Day Camp.  That will be two weeks out of my care.  I feel as if we are constantly losing ground.


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4 much appreciated comments:

Rachael said...

Hope you will be feeling better soon!!

kristin said...

I hope it isn't anything life threatening and you are on the mend! One thing is you are always the mother that come back....sorry. I bet it is frustrating.
Kristin

Consumer court said...

Hope you will be feeling better soon!!

Tami said...

I hope you're feeling better soon. I spent a few days in the hospital this last week as well and the effect on the kids was obvious. Nick was beyond hyper and Maddie was up to her old orphanage tricks. I wish I had some answers for you...just know you're not alone. ((hugs))

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Here I chatter about books, parenting, election 2008, recipes, teaching college writing, and the adventures of getting settled in with our two freshly (Fall 06) adopted school-age children from Russia. This blog is chapter two; chapter one is posted at Jamie & Suzanne go to Russia. I live in the City of Subdued Excitement, Cascadia, Land of the Free.

I am the wife of a man I call My Gift from a Generous God. I am mama to two lovely children, Dandy and Chickadee that became ours in September 2006 in a court-room in Siberia. I am the daughter of two people whom I love and admire. One of them, my dad, is a new (Dec 06) paraplegic.

In my previous life (B.C. - before children), I was a college English teacher, specializing in composition and ESL composition.

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