rant: television

I am recovered enough from my crud to be cranky, but not well enough to do housework (which is my usual outlet for crankiness), so you will just have to bear with me as I rant.

(pulls out soapbox)

When I was a little girl my parents did not have television (by choice). Eventually someone felt sorry for us and gave us one, which my parents put in the basement and would let us watch the Flintstones. One day, while we were watching Fred and Barney beat at the boulders with their sledge hammers, my little brother went and got Dad's sledge hammer and gave those boulders a good whack. The television screen shattered and that was the end of television at our house. Of course we all whined and moaned and felt terribly geeky and left out when other kids talked about television and we couldn't, but now, as grown-ups neither of my siblings nor I have television stations. Yes, we have TVs, how else could we watch VeggieTales? But we don't have (by choice) any stations.

Why? Speaking only for this household, I like it that our children won't have to see commercials like this:



But mostly because I believe that TV dulls the mind, competes with book-reading time, interferes with conversation, and sets people up to be dissatisfied with real life. Yes I am a TV-free snob. Now you know.

Roald Dahl makes a much more amusing argument than I could; what do you think? would you like to join us in TV-free land?

TELEVISION

The most important thing we've learned,
So far as children are concerned,
Is never, NEVER, NEVER let
Them near your television set --
Or better still, just don't install
The idiotic thing at all.
In almost every house we've been,
We've watched them gaping at the screen.
They loll and slop and lounge about,
And stare until their eyes pop out.
(Last week in someone's place we saw
A dozen eyeballs on the floor.)
They sit and stare and stare and sit
Until they're hypnotised by it,
Until they're absolutely drunk
With all that shocking ghastly junk.
Oh yes, we know it keeps them still,
They don't climb out the window sill,
They never fight or kick or punch,
They leave you free to cook the lunch
And wash the dishes in the sink --
But did you ever stop to think,
To wonder just exactly what
This does to your beloved tot?
IT ROTS THE SENSE IN THE HEAD!
IT KILLS IMAGINATION DEAD!
IT CLOGS AND CLUTTERS UP THE MIND!
IT MAKES A CHILD SO DULL AND BLIND
HE CAN NO LONGER UNDERSTAND
A FANTASY, A FAIRYLAND!
HIS BRAIN BECOMES AS SOFT AS CHEESE!
HIS POWERS OF THINKING RUST AND FREEZE!
HE CANNOT THINK -- HE ONLY SEES!
'All right!' you'll cry. 'All right!' you'll say,
'But if we take the set away,
What shall we do to entertain
Our darling children? Please explain!'
We'll answer this by asking you,
'What used the darling ones to do?
'How used they keep themselves contented
Before this monster was invented?'
Have you forgotten? Don't you know?
We'll say it very loud and slow:
THEY ... USED ... TO ... READ! They'd READ and READ,
AND READ and READ, and then proceed
To READ some more. Great Scott! Gadzooks!
One half their lives was reading books!
The nursery shelves held books galore!
Books cluttered up the nursery floor!
And in the bedroom, by the bed,
More books were waiting to be read!
Such wondrous, fine, fantastic tales
Of dragons, gypsies, queens, and whales
And treasure isles, and distant shores
Where smugglers rowed with muffled oars,
And pirates wearing purple pants,
And sailing ships and elephants,
And cannibals crouching 'round the pot,
Stirring away at something hot.
(It smells so good, what can it be?
Good gracious, it's Penelope.)
The younger ones had Beatrix Potter
With Mr. Tod, the dirty rotter,
And Squirrel Nutkin, Pigling Bland,
And Mrs. Tiggy-Winkle and-
Just How The Camel Got His Hump,
And How the Monkey Lost His Rump,
And Mr. Toad, and bless my soul,
There's Mr. Rat and Mr. Mole-
Oh, books, what books they used to know,
Those children living long ago!
So please, oh please, we beg, we pray,
Go throw your TV set away,
And in its place you can install
A lovely bookshelf on the wall.
Then fill the shelves with lots of books,
Ignoring all the dirty looks,
The screams and yells, the bites and kicks,
And children hitting you with sticks-
Fear not, because we promise you
That, in about a week or two
Of having nothing else to do,
They'll now begin to feel the need
Of having something to read.
And once they start -- oh boy, oh boy!
You watch the slowly growing joy
That fills their hearts. They'll grow so keen
They'll wonder what they'd ever seen
In that ridiculous machine,
That nauseating, foul, unclean,
Repulsive television screen!
And later, each and every kid
Will love you more for what you did.

~Roald Dahl

Now if I could just get it out of public places. But perhaps I can! I found a TV-B-Gone Universal TV Power Remote Control Keychain which will turn off any television. Oh oh, do tell Santa. This would be even cooler than Dumbledore's light putter-outer.

:: this post is part of the Carnival of Family Life hosted at My Wealth Builder.