Some bottom-feeding lowlife has somehow acquired/forged a copy of my credit card and just spent $211 at Giant Food and another $178 at Toys-R-Us. We don't even have Giant Food on my side of the country.
Fortunately I keep a close eye on credit card activity and have canceled the card. As the fraudulent charges were made in the last two hours, I have the thin satisfaction of imagining the dirty scum getting declined at the next check-out stand. But that is all that will happen, they will just be declined.
I want ill-tempered German Shepherds to burst out from underneath the till and pin the toad-faced buggers to the ground whilst onlookers boo and hiss and pummel them with rotten eggs and slimy old produce and then cheer as grouchy policemen with halitosis haul the thieves off to jail, where the heat is off and the food is maggoty.
That's what I want.
But what will happen is that the clerk will say, "I'm sorry Mrs. Chandler, your card didn't go through." and the Fake Mrs. Chandler will mutter something about credit limit and so forth and look confused and then find a way to get out of the store. That's all.
One more reason to have low credit limits on one's card. If I hadn't caught it, they could have charged 10 grand before maxing it out. I'm having the new cards set to a very low limit and continuing with my daily balance check.