St Patrick

a letter from Dad

I don't know how old this is; I found it during the great purging.

iPad: what is really inside

We Who Are Your Closest Friends

We Who Are Your Closest Friends

We who are
your closest friends
feel the time
has come to tell you
that every Thursday
we have been meeting,
as a group,
to devise ways
to keep you
in perpetual uncertainty
frustration
discontent and
torture
by neither loving you
as much as you want
nor cutting you adrift.
Your analyst is
in on it,
plus your boyfriend
and your ex-husband;
and we have pledged
to disappoint you
as long as you need us.
In announcing our
association
we realize we have
placed in your hands
a possible antidote
against uncertainty
indeed against ourselves.
But since our Thursday nights
have brought us
to a community
of purpose
rare in itself
with you as
the natural center,
we feel hopeful you
will continue to make unreasonable
demands for affection
if not as a consequence
of your disastrous personality
then for the good of the collective.

-- Phillip Lopate

educational television

was it something we said?

I just remembered that I forgot to share with you the parting words from one of our Thanksgiving guests:

Bye, it was nice to meet some of you.

:: one year ago today: to post? or not to post? that is the question and if you watch just one Ron Paul video, let it be this one
:: two years ago today: God's Grandeur

putting the homie in homeschooling

home-schooling, humor, YouTube
:: hat tip to Storing Up Treasures

parents can't be trusted

Very amusing . . .

hat tip to FiveJs

works for me: 4 amusing podcasts

In keeping with my podcast list series, here are 4 amusing podcasts that work for me.

Comedy - deemed suitable by a woman who considers dang to be
nearly a cussword.

1. Abbott and Costello

2. CBC Radio Comedy Factory

3.Old Time Radio Comedy ~ Amos & Andy, Abbot &
Costello, Burns & Allen, Fibber McGee & Molly and more

4. Reliable Old Time Radio Comedy ~ even
more Amos & Andy, Abbot & Costello, Burns & Allen, Fibber McGee
& Molly and so forth




My other Works for Me posts.

works for me

Mighty Warriors of the Never-Ending Questions

We watched the movie Home Alone which may have been a lapse in judgment as the children have been discussing how they would protect and defend their castle if they were left home alone. I think they may have finally settled on a workable plan.

If they are home alone and burglars arrive, the kids will pester them until they go away. Here is a mere fraction of their arsenal:

What are you doing?
Why are you doing that?
When will you be done?
What will you do next?
When is Christmas coming?
Why do you wear black?
What are you going to do with that?
What time is it?
What is that tool?
What time is it now?
What time did you get here?
What time are you leaving?
How long until then?
Do you know that guy who took Christmas?
No, the guy with the dog who was a reindeer?
Do you work for him?
Are you the boss?
How much money do you get?
Where did you get that tool?
Did you steal that too?
How much was it?
Did you have to steal your breakfast?
Did you have to steal your underwear?
Do you steal dogs?
Are you a bad guy?
Why are you a bad guy?
Do you love God?
God can help you stop being a bad guy?
Have you been in prison?
How much did it cost?
Do you steal in prison?
Are you going to vote for Ron Paul?

Who needs dogs and home security systems when I can just sic the Mighty Warriors of the Never-Ending Questions on any stray burglar who hazards upon us?




parenting

parts of speech

If you enjoy this sort of English teacher humor, be sure to check out the blogs and websites under my "Writerly Blogs" blogroll.

grammar

coming soon to theaters near you

Trailer to the long-awaited next episode:




ron paul

CNN YouTube Republican Debate

click pic to enlarge

ron paul
:: I found this at Pics Down

Doctor Dandy

So, Dandy received a cool headlamp for his birthday, which he promptly donned and examined everyone's throats, prescribing remedies for whatever he deemed ailed us.

"You need more toothpaste," he said to one.

"You need more sleep," he said to me.

"You need more walking," he dead-panned to Grandpa.





:: if you don't regularly read this blog, you need to know that my Dad is paralyzed from the armpits down and uses a wheelchair, therein is the humor in Dandy's straight-faced Rx.
paraplegia

free rice

At Free Rice, I'm vocab level 46. How about you?

:: hat tip to cloudscome at a wrung sponge for this very cool toy.

an interesting idea

Now this is interesting. What if the land and sea were reversed?

truly pathetic

My kids set out to play Mama. Hmmm . . . I wonder what this will look like?

They each get a big hard-back book.

They put it on their laps.

They open them up.

They rotate them 90 degrees.

They start to type.

Friday Poetry: Anthology Holy Tango of Literature featuring Wilma Flintsone & Winnie the Pooh

If you like these, you must go to the Holy Tango site and read all about the Importance of Declaring Earnings.


Here's one for my literary readers:

LIKABLE WILMA
WILLIAM BLAKE

Wilma, Wilma, in thy blouse,
Red-haired prehistoric spouse,
What immortal animator
Was thy slender waist’s creator?

When the Rubble clan moved in,
Was Betty jealous of thy skin,
Thy noble nose, thy dimpled knee?
Did he who penciled Fred draw thee?

Wilma, Wilma, burning bright, ye
Cartoon goddess Aphrodite,
Was it Hanna or Barbera
Made thee hot as some caldera?
~ Francis Heany

hint



And here is one for the rest of my readers:

AN E-MAIL
A. A. MILNE

Whatever I do, there’s always Pooh,
There’s always Pooh and Me.
“Let’s write an e-mail,” I say to Pooh.
“That sounds like a wonderful thing to do,”
He says. I say, “I think so too.”
“Let’s write it together,” says Pooh, says he.
“Let’s write it together,” says Pooh.

“Where is the caps lock?” I said to Pooh.
(“Caps what?” said Pooh to me.)
“I think I’d rather if everyone knew
How excited I am.” “Of course,” said Pooh.
So I typed a whole screen, but I wasn’t through.
“I think it needs more,” said Pooh, said he.
“I think it needs more,” said Pooh.

“Let’s add some JPEGs,” I said to Pooh.
“Yes, let’s,” said Pooh to me.
I searched online and found a few,
And I showed them one by one to Pooh.
“They’re pretty big. Do you think they’ll do?”
“I think they’ll do,” said Pooh, said he.
“I think they’ll do,” said Pooh.

“Where shall we send it?” I said to Pooh.
“I don’t know,” said Pooh to me.
“I know who I shall send it to!
All of my friends—three hundred and two!”
“They’ll all want to read it, I’m sure,” said Pooh.
“I certainly would,” said Pooh, said he,
“I love to get e-mails from you.”

So whatever I do, there’s always Pooh,
There’s always Pooh and Me.
“Thank goodness for you,” I said to Pooh,
And Pooh agreed, “It’s certainly true
That two are better for thinking things through.”
“I’m not sure that got sent,” says Pooh, says he.
“Better send it again,” says Pooh.
~ Francis Heany

Here is the coding if you want a button with a link to this week's round-up.

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:: this post is part of the Friday Poetry roundup hosted by Hip Writer Mama.

New to this Mommy-Gig

Oh my word. Guess what I forgot to do today? I forgot to pick up our son from school. Yup. There I was feeling like a competent adult, even perhaps a good mom, chatting with the other moms at the homeschool play date when I realized that I had done the unthinkable on only the second day of school. I wasn't delayed by a mishap, or traffic, or anything else forgivable, I had just straight-up clean forgotten him.

This is worse than the day I forgot to go to class; I was the teacher.

Ack. What will become of us?







:: this post is included in the carnival of SAHMs.

map of true love

there's a map! who knew?

:: hat tip to Rocks in my Dryer